50 Things I've Learned From How I Met Your Mother
1 "It's called coexistence… It's the moment you realize that all that anger and resentment just aren't useful, and you start to let go of it, and move on with your life. But, it just takes a while."
2 It's okay to be in the same circle of friends of your ex. It shouldn't be awkward... sometimes it would be but, I mean, you know. It should be fine.
3 True friends ditch a class, an important meeting, work, and even a date when another friend is in need.
4 Own Apartment > Designer bags and clothes
5 People say you can't but if you think you can, go for it.
6 "Don't postpone joy."
7 "Look I know the odds are, the love of my life isn't going to magically walk through that door in a pumpkin costume at 2:43 in the morning. But it just seems as nice a spot as any to just, you know, sit and wait."
8 Don't keep trying to fix what is obviously completely broken. Let the universe take over, it knows better.
9 The person you need in your life is someone who sees all your imperfections but loves you anyway.
10 Men will tell you anything just to get in your pants.
11 Sometimes you have to put your guards down.
12 Be with someone who you can be totally silly with.
13 "There are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to really know it is a mistake is to make that mistake and look back and say, 'Yup, that was a mistake'. So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake because then you'll go your whole life not really knowing if something is a mistake or not."
14 There's always that one bar that is more than a bar to you and your friends. It's home with the family you got to pick.
15 There's no way a doctor can turn a dog into a turtle.
16 "Suits are full of joy. They're the sartorial equivalent of a baby's smile."
17 Do not date anyone who is afraid of commitment...
18 ... but if you have, remember this, that person will eventually be committed... it would just never be with you.
19 You may think that time has changed you but when you see people from the past, you will also see yourself being the person you were back when you guys still hang out all the time.
20 Pour the cereal first to see how much milk you need.
21 A couple's version of dating is having brunch with another couple.
22 "One, it's not cheating if you're not the one who's married. Two, it's not cheating if her name has two adjacent vowels. Three, and it's not cheating if she's from a different area code."
23 If it's a butterfly on your lower back, you can't call it a tattoo. It's a tramp stamp.
24 Nobody has ever licked the Liberty Bell.
25 Use your friend's name as a verb.
26 Things you may have liked before may not be as appealing later on.
27 America wants people who seem like bold risk takers, but never actually do anything.
28 Some people aren't trying to win the breakup by showing their ex that they have moved on. Truth is, they're just trying to survive it.
29 There are so many great things you can do with your mouth. Don't waste time talking.
30 Theories and Rules:
- The Olive Theory - it means that opposites attract. Your partner may hate something that you really love and vice versa... and it's fine because it keeps the balance in the relationship.
- The Three Day Rule - when you get someone's number, you don't call him / her until three days have passed so you wouldn't seem desperate.
- The Hot-Crazy Scale - a girl is only allowed to be crazy if she is equally hot.
- The Platinum Rule - you should never date someone you see on a regular basis like your neighbor, classmate, colleague or your best friend.
31 "You can't get over a woman until you can no longer picture her boobs."
32 There's a 31st in March and October.
33 "If you're not gonna meet him halfway, you're gonna lose him."
34 We all have done something in the past that we regret... and get embarrassed about.
35 It's not a problem if you are awesome at it.
36 You usually wouldn't notice someone's bad habit until another person points it out. 37 When your friend calls dibs, back the hell off.
38 You might have lost your blue horn, but there's a yellow umbrella somewhere out there. Keep looking. 39 There's no such thing as a perfect wedding. Things get messed up no matter how carefully planned they may be. But it doesn't matter as long as you are marrying that person. 40 Don't be tired of waiting. He's on his way and he's getting here as fast as he can.
41 "Jesus waited THREE days to come back to life. It was perfect! If he had only waited ONE day, a lot of people wouldn't have even heard he died. They'd be all, "Hey Jesus, what up?" and Jesus would probably be like, "What up? I DIED yesterday!" and they'd be all, "Uhh, you look pretty alive to me, dude..." and then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected, and how it was a miracle, and the dude'd be like "Uhh okay, whatever you say, bro..." And he's not gonna come back on a SATURDAY. Everybody's busy, doing chores, working the loom, trimming the beard, NO. He waited the perfect number of days, THREE. Plus it's SUNDAY, so everyone's in church already, and they're all in there like "Oh no, Jesus is DEAD", and then BAM! He bursts in the back door, running up the aisle, everyone's totally psyched, and FYI, that's when he invented the high five. That's why we wait three days to call a woman, because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait.... True story."
42 When two friends decide to be together and break up eventually, it's not really a "break up". It's called "two friends getting back together".
43 Laser tag has no age restrictions.
44 A girl always dreams of hearing "Will you be my backup wife?"
45 Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving on October.
46 Say what you need to say. Think out loud. You don't want to tell your kids a story someday that ends with "That's what I should have said".
47 The best burger in town is not just a burger.
48 Sometimes you don't get to be the person you've always wanted to be. Sometimes you just have to accept what's on the table. It's not like you're settling for less. It's embracing the things that the universe gives you and making the most out of the life you have.
49 Feelings are not like a disease that you may probably get when you have sex with different partners every night even when you're using condoms. You get these feelings even if you use "protection and everything".
50 When you're sad, stop being said and be awesome instead.